Walking away & Coming back
by gizmog
Summary: A hard days filming leads to Jensen having a seizure Jared reacts the only way he knows and walks away.
1. Chapter 1

Jensen rolled his eyes and smiled at his co star, although it probably wasn't the best time for this to happen he just couldn't help himself, honestly he looked ridiculous, standing there covered in blood and bruises, which the makeup and special affects had applied exquisitely, still he couldn't help it, it cracked him up inside, hence the director now shouting cut and the rest of the production crew creasing up themselves.

Jared stared in utter belief, it was boiling in the studio under the lights and been covered in all this gack as well was not helping anything all he wanted to do was shoot the scene and then take a long shower, Jesus his skin was itching under his clothes and the fake blood. Still he couldn't stay mad for long and soon he had given up all hope of being serious at least for the next 10 minutes.

Finally and both composed along with the production crew they re took their places, clapper board in pace and three, two one and action.

'Look Sammy I aint, Line.'

'CUT'

That's when Jared noticed that Jensen wasn't laughing, in fact he wasn't doing anything, he was just stood there staring off, a glazed look flashed upon his face, Jared felt his stomach drop he didn't quite know why but he just felt that this was off, something was wrong.

However probably before he even realised Jensen was laughing again, but something still felt off and seen as the director had given up and called it a day, rather quickly he decided he was going to make sure he was alright.

The studio lights came on and the filming ones turned off and the stage door opened, looking around Jared could see Jensen at first he watched as the production crew streamed out into the night and as the studio emptied he caught sight of him sitting in a chair opposite the director and with a runner, slowly he wandered over and picked up bits of the conversation that was taking place.

'You ok?'

'Yeh am fine why, thought we were filming to at least 10 and its only 8'

'Jensen you had a small seizure and I thought it would be for the best if we called it a night and you get home and rest,'

Jensen's stomach had dropped he didn't have a clue, shit these so called small seizure were running amuck at the moment the medication they had put him on was working for the tonic clonic seizures but theses small ones seemed to be coming more frequently. Shit he had taken his meds, tried to keep his stress down, the lights had never bothered him,

'Jensen?'

The voice brought him back, shit was that another.

'Am gonna bring my car around the front, only be a sec' and off the runner went.

He was starting to feel tired and slightly annoyed, mainly with himself it was because of him they had had to stop filming for the day, this would probably knock the filming schedule out and put other people out shit.

Jared caught up with the runner as they were headed out the door, she was young and very pretty making him wonder why she wasn't on set as an extra or a bit part, he took a mental note to mention it to the director.

'Its ok ill take him home is he ok?'

Looking slightly shocked at being accosted by him she smiled,

'You'd better check with him first but I don't see any problem with that look am gonna sneak round the back for a quick ciggy.'

Jared smiled and wondered what she meant by ask him but he thought seen as it had been mentioned it was probably for the best that he did, as he walked back into the studio he could tell that the conversation had taken a more audible tone and the tone he could mainly pick out was that of Jensen, he quickened his step cursing about how big the studio actually was, Jesus it sounded as if Jensen was really loosing it, he'd heard him shout before, as he did in some of the scenes they had filmed but it had never had the edge to it it did now, he arrived just as Jensen stood up and turned to face him,

There was something off in his eyes and mannerisms but Jared barley registered as Jensen stared hard at him, his eyes rolled upwards and a awful noise left his mouth as he went slamming to the floor his body rigid, Jared felt stuck to the spot he didn't know what to do he looked down helplessly as Jensen's body went into rigid convulsions, his head slamming on the studio floor, before he realised the director was crouched over him placing his coat under his head and talking calmly to him, looking up he realised Jared was there and that tears were running from Jared's eyes.

'Jared can you ring an ambulance for me please' the calmness of his voice brought him back and he quickly fished out his mobile and dialled in 911

'err I need am ambulance, err he's having a seizure err I don't know, the address' the directors hand went up coaxing the phone off Jared.

'Yeh were at the Gatesland studios, lot 15, yeh he's epileptic, he had two partials, the first one was about 20 minutes ago then another now he's gone into a tonic clonic, thank you, yeh'. He smiled at Jared as he passed his phone back.

The seizure seemed to be calming, the director carefully turned Jensen onto his side. Jared hadn't noticed that they had now been joined by the runner,

'I'll wait outside for them. you ok?' Jared felt her touch his arm, turning to look at her he offered a small smile, then turned his back on the whole situation and walked out of the studio.

As he made it to his car he heard the siren approaching, opening the door he had to turn his back and vomit then he sat down put his head on the steering wheel and cried. He cried for Jensen, he cried for what he had seen, he cried for walking away.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

He threw himself down hard upon the couch, Jesus what a day had that really happened, had he actually seen Jensen having a seizure or was it just a nightmare, deep down he knew what had gone on but still for the moment he wanted to deny it and then there was him just getting up and walking out, shit how could he have done that, his friend was lying on the floor and all he did was walk away, just like, no he didn't want to think of it. It was a long time ago and he was young and don't we all make mistakes every now and then. shit he had only been a kid what was he meant to do, he just did what he did and that was the end of it. But now, well now he was an adult and he had done the one thing he didn't want to, the one thing he would never forgive himself for, if he could just turn back the clock, shit what had he been thinking how could he just have walked out like that.

His stomach dropped as the realisations came crashing down on him, running a hand through his hair he looked up in hope of a revelation or something to tell him that what he had done was the right thing, although he knew he couldn't be further from the truth still he hoped, gritting his teeth together he let his head fall into his hands and his thoughts consume him, the days events spiralling round inside his head, going over and over every detail of what had gone on and what he had done.

The ringing became louder and clearer, he sat bolt upright and leant over for the p0hone, shit had he fallen asleep, what time was it. He clicked the answer button and brought the phone close to his ear.

'yello'

'Jared that you?'

'yeh'

'sorry you just sounded different look am just ringing to let you know that filming tomorrow will start an hour later, ok right id better go.' With that the phone went dead and Jared's stomach was in knots, shit he hadn't even asked about Jensen, he looked at the phone for a while then placed it back on the small table next to the couch and lay down, closing his eyes and hoping that this day would just disappear and take him with it.

Opening his eyes he didn't recognise anything around him, this wasn't his room or even his trailer, the sheets beneath him were hard and itchy, and he was pretty sure he wasn't wearing his clothes which felt odd cause the last thing he remembered was himself pulling his phone out of his back pocket, shit his head hurt and the lighting wasn't doing anything to help it, it was hard strip lighting the type you often find in, shit the realisation hit him, hospital. Looking down at his right arm he saw the needle and the drip that lead from it. Shit what the hell had happened, his head hurt a bit and his mouth felt pretty sore did he get in a fight.

'arh your awake then'

Always seeing the positive Jensen smiled at the young and rather attractive nurse that had come in.

'how you feeling Mr. err Ackles'

'bit rough.' Shit his mouth hurt and he noticed his jaw was also aching with every movement, panic flashed through him for a minute what was the rest of him like was he covered in bruises did he have black eyes, shit make up was not going to be too pleased with that. Shit what if some pap had seen this fight and there were photos of him plastered to all the glossy's, shit.

'am not surprised you had a bit of a rough night, luckily your friend came in with you and were able to get your full medical history. You should be able to go home in a bit we just need to make sure your ok and you need to make an appointment with your neurologist ok.'

The realisation finally dawned on him he had had a seizure, shit, it must have been why else had she mentioned the neurologist, who had brought him in was Jared there was he the friends she was one about, had he been there all night with him, Jesus he hadn't even told him about his epilepsy he had never really seen a reason to, he hadn't had a full blown seizure for several years the last one being when they had just wrapped the filming of season one of supernatural, since then the new meds had worked they had all but stopped his tonic clonic seizures just not the simple ones, but he usually fobbed them off, some of the production crew knew just in case and the direct he was working with currently knew all just in case. Shit.

'you ok there.?'

His mouth hurt too much to talk so he merely nodded and offered a weak smile.

' good, well just get your head down for a bit and I'll come back with the Doctor and hopefully can send you home in a bit.'

With that she was gone. Closing the curtain around the bed and leaving Jensen to his thought the main one being shit. He closed his eyes thinking that maybe some sleep would be good but they weren't closed for long as he heard the curtain being pulled aside. Mike walked in and sat on the hard plastic chair next to the bed,

'how you feeling?'

'like shit.'

'well you hit the ground pretty hard there, I am sorry bout this but I can't stay for long have only been able to postpone filming for an hour and before you say anything your on leave at least for the next couple of days, just so you know that's my final word on the matter. You didn't half give us a scare you know.'

If he wasn't looking at the director (Mike) his stomach would have dropped with the end statement, but he could see a warm smile when he said it, but the word that bothered him most was us, shit who had seen. As if reading his mind Mike continued.

'it was only me, the runner and Jared.' A strange look crossed mikes face when he said Jared, he took it that Jared wasn't there then and that he hadn't come to the hospital, a blessing or not shit how were things going to be with them, was he going to go back and all would be the same or would Jared now treat him differently and not want to go out to the bar with him for instance.

'don't look so worried, I think it just scared him a bit is all, I spoke to him last night he sounded a bit well you know him, look don't worry all that matters at the moment is you getting out of here and getting rested and then coming back. right that's about my time get the hospital to call me when they release you, if I can't come I'll send the runner, oh what is her name, anyway the one you like. Take care.'

He left and Jensen closed his eyes and wished that none of this had happened and that it all had been a dream and that when he woke up all would be back to normal. Sleep came easy to him.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3.

The studio was alive as Jared walked towards the open door for lot 15. Inside was like it always was manic, he headed over to the buffet trolley and poured himself a black coffee, checking around for a familiar face that didn't seem to be there. He had just taken his first sip as Mike approved him, the coffee burnt its way down leaving the bitter taste imbedded in his mouth.

'hey there Jared'

He nodded and continued to sip at the coffee.

'we need a chat would say in my office but I don't have one, I have a chair but that's bout it and it isn't that quiet were it is.'

He wasn't lying Mikes chair was right in the midst of cameras, sound engineers and runners flocking about it hoping they'd get cast in the production, even know there was a crowd watching the chair waiting to pounce on him.

'my trailers free.'

'good idea after you then'

Jared felt as though he was back at school an been lead to see the head teacher and get told off or excluded or worse in the case sacked. Could they do that, no he had signed a contract. He opened the door and went an sat on the couch at the far end Mike sat opposite him and smiled.

'take it you're not going to offer me a coffee then' Mike chuckled, an ice breaker he thought, looking around the trailer he re focussed on Jared and continued 'well really I just wanted to make sure you were ok, you left at some speed last night.'

Jared felt his stomach drop again and tried his hardest not to vomit although he was pretty sure he was close, the last thing he wanted to do today was sit down and have a talk about his actions last night, he focused his eyes downwards hoping for a hole to come and swallow him up and then this could all be over.

'Jensen's not going to be in for a couple of days so were going to do the scenes he's not in, ok I know a change but guess what I brought' he placed the scripts next to Jared. 'right well I'll give you a while to have a read through am sure you know your lines it's just to refresh you, ok, right' as he got up he touched Jared on the shoulder the way a teacher would when they were reassuring a young child. With that thankfully he left.

Jared picked up the script and started leafing through, he didn't need to he already knew the lines and actions, he was hoping that it would shut that little voice up inside his head, as he already knew it wouldn't the voice just got louder.

'well the doctors happy for you to go home, we've arranged an appointment for you to see your neurologist, can someone come and get you or do you need a taxi.' She really was very pretty if he had been feeling better he would have asked for her number. God his mouth and jaw still ached.

'my friend wants me to ring him.'

'well we can do that give me his number and you take it easy ok.' Her smile was exceptionally reassuring. He passed her Mikes card, why on earth did he have Mikes business card and why did Mike have one it made him smile a bit just at the thought of it. She took it smiling and then disappeared. He was quite hot, it had taken her a while to figure out where she knew him from, he really was good looking though. She reached the desk and pulled the phone over the top and punched in the numbers.

'Yelo'

'hi can I speak with Mike please'.

'yep you got him.'

'oh good, well Mr Ackles is being discharged soon and told me you were coming to pick him up.'

'no problem, how's he doing?'

'allot better.'

Jared walked in just to see Mike hanging up his phone and getting his coat, he caught his eyes and Mike walked over to him,

'sorry about this, look Ed is gonna fill in till I get back, ok, right see ya in a bit then.'

What that was it, fine if he didn't want to divulge information Jared couldn't really care at this moment, his main objective for the day was get the filing done and go home and probably have a few drinks and try to get yesterday out of his head. There seemed to be no whispering about last night events and he hadn't heard anyone mention Jensen's absence, it was a little too quite on set for him. Pushing these thought to the back of his head he took up his mark and the filming began.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

The car ride from the hospital was quite odd if Jensen had to be true to himself it had been a long time since he had been picked up from a hospital, usually he made his own way home, but the way he was feeling it was probably for the best. Mike was making small talk but hadn't mentioned anything about Jared, this was making Jensen uneasy he had worked before with people who had problems with his epilepsy but he was finding it hard to believe that this was the case with Jared they had always been fairly close, surely he wasn't like so many of the others that had turned their backs him, no that couldn't be the case, could it. He couldn't help but question himself, he hoped he wasn't right he really did.

Mike was still chatting away while he was surrounded by his thoughts, he didn't want to go home, what was he going to do back there sit and mope around, playing out worse case scenarios in his head, no he wasn't going to be going home he had made his mind up.

'Mike.' God he sounded like a child asking for permission.

'yep.'

'look I don't want to go straight home what say we swing by the studio anyway you got work to do am sure I'll be fine I'll just sit there and watch.' God he sounded whinny he hated that. Mike looked into his rear-view mirror and changed lanes.

'if that's what you want.' He smiled at him and the car speed off down the road.

'Look Ruby I don't know I mean.'

'CUT. Right everybody take lunch break back in 45 k.'

It always amazed Jared how quickly the stage emptied when lunch was called, some of the production crew stayed inside but went to the back and loitered around with each other and coffee, some disappeared outside to smoke with the other social lepers, and some merely meandered by the catering trolley, he wasn't sure where he should go today. He hadn't felt this lost since his fist day at school and he hadn't liked the feeling back then, now a days he loathed it. He decided he'd go out front and get some air, stopping by the catering trolley and picking up a mini sub on the way. Outside the weather seemed to have taken a nice turn and the sun beat down on him, he looked around but couldn't spot any one he wasn't that surprised if he smoked he would know, but he didn't so he wasn't in on that little secret, he took to leaning against the studio wall, and lost himself in his thoughts.

' you sure you're up for this?' rather than responding Jensen nodded, Mike pulled the car into the space that was designated for him and jumped out, Jensen was a bit more slow, perhaps this hadn't been the best idea but he couldn't stand the thought of being alone at home, he might not stay as long as he planned though but then his trailer was here so he could always go there and sleep, this no sounded more appealing, he would watch them film for a bit then sneak off and wait for Mike to finish. Shit his body ached and with each step it wasn't getting any better. As they made it to the studio door, he stumbled but Mike caught him a look of worry flashed across his face.

'em ok, just tripped.' A slight hint of guilt and perhaps he should have gone home crawled about inside him, but Mike soon smiled and that eased him. No he had made the right decision. There were a couple of people hanging around out the front of the studio, none of them looked any differently at him which was a blessing. Inside the studio was quite cool compared to the heat outside Mike lead him over to his chair and pretty much forced him to sit in it, then disappeared off to speak with Ed.

He roamed his eyes around the studio and at first couldn't spot Jared anywhere but finally he spoted him over on the far side reading through a script. It was in his mind to shout over to him but he decided against it, he would try and catch him on a break. He heard Ed or it could have been Mike shout action and closed his eyes.

'hey Jensen.'

'what' he croaked back he had only shut his eyes, what was the problem now.

'come on I'm getting you home there taking a break and Ed is fine finishing off here today.

'narh I'm good Mike honestly.'

'yeh that's why you fell asleep is it.'

'what, I just shut my eyes thats all.'

'yeh for a long time. Come on.'

Shit had he really fallen asleep and in such a position.

'narh look I'm good I'll go and sit in my trailer though and wait for you is that ok.'

Knowing he wasn't going to win this one Mike gave in and nodded then called a runner over to help him get back to his trailer, although Jensen found this slightly annoying it was understandable, plus he knew the runner and she was quite pretty so really he didn't mind that much. She walked with him rather than aiding which made him feel better about been chaperoned out of the studio, he clocked Jared as he reached the back door, he couldn't be positive but he was quite sure that Jared had clocked him to and then gone back to reading through a script. Jensen's heart sunk, his head had been right. Putting his head down he walked out and towards his trailer.

After getting some air Jared headed back into the studio and positioned himself against one of the far walls, he then engrossed himself in the script, still his conscience played up and his stomach was soon knotted. He focused harder on the script he was looking at none of it going in at all in fact the words had now merged into nothing more than a blur.

The studio started to get busier it seemed that the break was coming to an end and people were now milling back in, he let his arms drop to his side, the right one taking the script with it, he looked up through his hair some of which had covered his face, it was what fans would say a classic moody Sam, it was working for him now he could see but felt hidden from accusing looks, not like he had received any, he felt he should have done. As he glanced around he saw Mike walking in through the main door accompanied by Jensen, who defiantly looked worse for wear, his heart instantly sunk upon seeing him. His eyes followed Jensen across the studio to Mikes chair. The only thing he wanted to do was go other there and make sure his friend was ok, but what if he wasn't, what if he didn't want to speak to him, he hadn't told him he had epilepsy. No I'm being pathetic now he thought. He was about to move when Ed called him to his mark.

Three hours passed before the next break, the filming had been hard and at times difficult due to Jared not being able to concentrate fully, his mind elsewhere, finally though they had got the scene done and break was called. As he left the set he looked over to see if Jensen had stayed through out, a cold chill ran threw him when he saw Jensen sprawled in the chair, his head right back, he froze and looked desperately around, he noticed Mike moving at some speed although not running towards Jensen. He watched as Mike woke him up, thank god he just fell asleep. Knowing he was ok he went back to where he had been leaning before and pretended to read through his lines. He heard footsteps close to him so looked up and saw Jensen looking right at him, shit was that a look of hate, disappointment or just a nasty look. No he was being daft now but by the time he found his voice Jensen had left the studio and Ed was calling him back to his mark.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5.

He had forgotten how much he liked his trailer compared to the rented apartment, he felt more at home in it, the runner he would remember her name what was it, shit it was gone, regardless he smiled at her and lay on the couch at the far end of his trailer, bless her she passed him a blanket which he half heartedly put over his lower half, then blackness.

She made sure nothing around him could hurt him then quietly left pulling the door to but not locking it she was under strict instructions not to lock the door behind her as she would be checking in on him every 30 minutes. She headed back into the studio the scene was well underway by the time she entered and she was immediately called over by Mike.

His face was flushed and he looked worried, she pulled up a chair next to him at the back of the studio so they could talk in hushed voice and not interrupt the filming.

'how is he?'

'he's sleeping, and before you say anything I moved anything obvious out of the way and made sure the door didn't lock behind me.'

'should have taken him home.'

'possibly but I'm guessing he wanted to come back here, and at least he isn't on his own here, where as he would be if he were at home, what were you going to do take the whole day off and loiter at his, you know he would have told you to go and then you would have come back here and your head would be firmly up your arse for the rest of the day.'

He lightly touched her hand and smiled, they had agreed to keep their relationship quite for now as they both knew what people would think and say about it. Actually the only one who knew was Jensen. It had come out two nights ago when the four of them had gone for a drink, actually she didn't know Jensen knew as her and Jared had gone to the bar and Mike just couldn't keep it a secret any longer. He patted her hand and then let go, she got up and went about her job checking her watch to see how long she had before she next checked in on Jensen.

Filming came to a break and he immediately headed over to Mike who seemed engrossed in a script. Not wanting to break Mikes concentration he merely waited in front of him, it didn't take long for his presence to be realised, seen as he cast a shadow right over Mike. Looking up he smiled and pointed at the chair next to him.

' you look run out.'

'just a, well I didn't sleep to well last night.'

'you and me both, am guessing you want to talk about last night.' Jared felt his stomach drop, shit. Finding his mouth was unexplainably dry he just nodded.

'well the main thing is Jensen's aright just tired, he's in his trailer. I wanted to take him home but you know what he's like. You should go and see him you know.'

He already knew that he just, well he wasn't sure if he wanted to see him, what was he going to say, how was he going to explain. Shit, he could feel the walls closing in on him, was it hot in here, he could taste water in his mouth, this wasn't good this only meant one thing, his stomach was retching, and so was he. Shit. He doubled over and prayed that no one had noticed, he felt a hand on his back.

'take it easy,'

Yeh that was easy for him to say, the contents of his stomach weren't on the floor. And his throat was burning, a and passed him a bottle of water, then someone was leading him outside. The air helped a bit he didn't feel as trapped just awash with shame and guilt. He rested his back on the wall and finally looked up, his eyes were watering, absently he rubbed at them. Then threw his head back and looked up.

'well can't say it's been a dull couple of days. How you feeling?'

'better, thanks.'

'right well why don't you take a few and freshen up, think that's prob a day for you anyway.'

He ran his hand through his hair and smiled, then started walking to his trailer; he could really do with washing his face. He looked over at the opposite trailer and made his mind up he would quickly wash his face then would go and check on Jensen.

She carefully opened the trailer door and walked in, Jensen was pretty much in the same position she had left him. She felt relief pass over her then turned her back and headed back to the studio.

He felt better as the cool water splashed over his face, he hated being sick he hated it more when people were around. It was probably the sub he had eaten oh well no use panicking now it was done. He took the towel from the side and put his face in it. What a day. Well there was no point putting it off anymore, checking his face in the mirror he turned and left. Once outside he saw the runner leaving Jensen's trailer. He must be still in there well come on then. he started walking over, pausing at the door and noticing that it was ever so slightly open, usually he would just walk in but that didn't feel right this time so for the first time in years he knocked. A groan answered so he breathed in and entered.

He had heard the runner, still her name was lost to him, enter quite as she had been and he had heard walk close to him, but he had decided to keep his eyes shut and just pretend to be asleep, it wasn't that he didn't want to speak to her it was more of a case that she might go and get Mike and he would drag him home. Now there was a knock at his door, no one ever knocked on his door, well they didn't today anyway. But the knock had been enough to make him open his eyes and take to a sitting pose with his legs stretched out rather than lying down. He watched as the door pulled open.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6.

Well it was now or never Jensen was most certainly awake, swallowing hard he entered, his eyes fell on him instantly, he was sat the way he usually did when he was relaxing, feet propped up on the couch. He smiled but wasn't sure how it was excepted for once Jensen's face wasn't giving anything away.

'Err how you feeling.' That was it, that was all his brain had given him to say, of all the words and phrases, that was it. He hated himself the second it had slipped out and he found he was staring at his feet. Not quite sure if he was avoiding Jensen's gaze or yet again just hoping a hole would suddenly emerge and swallow him.

'Ave felt better, but not bad. You coming in or you gonna loiter around.' Jensen's heart went out to him, what he had seen had obviously affected him and by the looks of him he wasn't handling it to well. He could her a voice spring up in his head, he ignored you, he didn't come to the hospital, he's like the rest. His head hurt, pulling his right hand up he rubbed at his forehead.

'You ok, do you need something?'

'Narh am good, honest.' So that was it, he felt bad but didn't really want to be there, just in case it happened again. The door didn't shut instead he felt someone sit down next to his feet, defiantly not the best seat in the house. Perhaps his head had been wrong.

'You sure your ok cause I can get someone.' His voice had a slight hint of worry to it.

'Honestly am good, how bout you, filming going ok?'

'I'm not here to talk about filming, I, I just well I wanted to make sure your ok. And to say I'm sorry. You know I would never do anything to hurt you, but I guess I have kinda screwed up here. I mean I,'

Jensen watched as his friend pretty much fell apart in front of him, his stomach drooped Jared had obviously been beating himself up about things, shit. Jared was staring hard at him, his eyes filling with tears, Jesus was it that bad. He had never seen a seizure and the way other people talked about them it wasn't high on the list of things he wanted to see.

'Guess so, look threes nothing to worry about, really.'

Jared rubbed his eyes, he had to explain himself he needed to, it was eating him up inside. He had come this far. If it meant loosing Jensen as a friend, well he didn't want to think about that right now so he pushed that particular thought to the back of his head.

'look I'm sorry I just couldn't, well it was hard, I mean I never knew and I well,' he was panicking now, he didn't know what he should be saying, he knew what he wanted to say but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to say it. The reason he had walked was because it had scared him.

The first time he had seen a seizure it had scared him, it was that simple, they didn't just scare him they terrified him. The thought alone, that you could be there one minute talking and the next they'd be gone. He had been 13 and was walking down the main corridor of the school heading outside with his then friend Caleb. God it was so clear, all these years had passed and yet this day was stuck in his head and for some reason it wouldn't go. They had made it to the bench out front and were sitting down , when he noticed that Caleb was just standing still, his fingers on his left hand twitching ever so slightly, he let out a noise that had sent shivers straight down Jared's spine and fell hard to the floor his body jerking uncontrollably, his head hitting the cement over and over. Jared froze he sat there stuck to the spot, it wasn't until another student had come over that Jared had found he was able to move and that's just what he did, he got up and walked off, tears falling down his face he walked further and further away, not once looking back.

Caleb had been off school for the following two days during which all Jared got was funny looks and snide remarks thrown at him. He knew he should have done something but he didn't know what he was meant to do and it had scared him every aspect of it. When Caleb finally returned Jared had found himself distancing himself from him, trying at every opportunity not to be left alone with him. It didn't take long for Caleb to pick up on this and finally stopped talking to him.

He had lost one friend he didn't want to lose another. He wiped at his eyes, and waited for Jensen to say something, it felt like an eternity.

'So does this affect you now, I mean now that you have seen me doing god knows what. Do we have a problem?'

It was a relief to hear Jensen speak although it was his usual tone and Jared could completely understand why he might now have a problem with him. He shook his head.

'Don't get me wrong I thought we were friends but look this aint personal or anything but I have had people treat me like that before and walk away from me I can do without it. I understand that you were young and high school aint easy for any of us. But if it helps I'm still the same, I aint sprouted another head or anything, I mean look at me gorgeous as ever with just a hint of danger.'

Jared finally looked at him and could see that Jensen was smiling at him.

'Look Jensen I'm sorry. It won't happen again.'

'Well I can't promise anything like that for all I know it will happen again but if you can deal with it, well we can go back to the way things were and look I'm sorry to I should have told you but honestly you should see the looks people sometimes give you when you mention epilepsy, I swear to god some of them think its contagious, promise you know it aint. Hey I could go for a beer, pass us one.'

'But.'

'But what, I'm thirsty and your closest so come on bitch.' They both smiled at that one. Jared got up and found two bottles he even opened them and the passed one over while drinking the other. He felt lighter, something inside him had gone and been released.

He watched Jensen for a short while, making sure he really was ok. He looked like he could do with several days off but so could Jared and seen as the next couple of scene they were shooting didn't contain either of their characters Jared knew how he was going to spend his time off. sure he couldn't make up for walking off but the thing about friends is they forgive each other.


End file.
